when you have a tbi- be prepared for people to take advantage of you and cancel ANY goals/plans you have for yourself.. ESPECIALLY IF YOU LIVE IN MINNESOTA!

i was supposed to have ics today at 9:30 am and i was unaware, i forgot to check my calendar to see when i was supposed to have it yesterday because i ASSUMED it'd be at like 5 today because i work from 3-5 today. however, i just looked at my calendar on my computer desk and i'm supposed to have it at 9:30 am this morning but *gasp*.. no one showed up OR called me! so i called the office immediately to see when i could have a session and unsurprisingly- abdul is working. i told the lady who is in charge of this ics program that abdul always tried to avoid having ics with me, it's like he assumes and takes advantage of the fact that most of the clients in this program skip their ics sessions because i'm assuming they don't wanna be bothered. I, on the other hand, have goals which i need assistance from a healthy body and i'm anxious to get them completed because sittin here is just wasting time. needless to say- i doubt the lady in charge of this ics program addressed my concerns about abdul trying not to have ics sessions with me- that moron is really the main ics worker here- so i'm not really getting anything done and God forbid anyone advocates for me because that would mean they'd have to go through the work of helping advocate for a vulnerable adult who lived through a car accident which NEARLY killed her but she worked her ass off in rehab. with the help of ARP therapy- became ambulatory (even though i lose my balance every now and then, it beats having a sore ass from sitting in the same place EVERY DAY). SO.. CONSIDERING SHE DID MANAGE TO BECOME AMBULATORY AGAIN.. SHE'S GOT THIS! 6 MONTHS IN A COMA, OVER 15 YEARS IN A DAMN ELECTRIC WHEELCHAIR, SHE'S GOT THIS! RIGHT AMANDA?! EVEN THOUGH NO ONE LISTENS TO HER AND TO PROVE THAT- I JUST STARTED TO WORK AN ACTUAL JOB (WITHOUT THE HELP OF MY GRANDMA NETWORKING FOR ME) SINCE IT WAS EASIER FOR EMPLOYERS TO TOSS MY APPLICATION RATHER THAN TO GIVE ME THE CHANCE TO ACTUALLY WORK! AMANDA DOESN'T KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT THAT THOUGH.. SHE DOESN'T CARE EITHER BECAUSE IT'S EASIER FOR HER TO JUST EMPTILY SAY TO ME, "YOU GOT THIS!".. another reason why it's taking so fucking long to do ANYTHING. generally, when people are in car accidents (especially ones that cause a traumatic brain injury, nearly killing the person), their FAMILY helps to advocate for them and supports them.. my family? no.. "YOU GOT THIS!" is ALL the "support" i get. just because she doesn't agree with my goals and it'd actually take TIME along with CARE to help me successfully complete my goals- amanda doesn't have time or desire to do any of that and she can just make it make sense seeing as she doesn't agree with my goals. she wants me to live my life all the ways that her husband and her insult! it's easier for her, SO WHO CARES ABOUT STACY, RIGHT? SHE REFUSES TO GO TO THE COURAGE CENTER MINDLESSLY LIKE SHE TRIED TO GET ME TO DO BECAUSE IT'D GIVE HER SISTER-IN-LAW ANOTHER MINDLESS CLIENT AT THERAPY AT THE COURAGE CENTER EVEN THOUGH I MUST'VE WENT THERE FOR AT LEAST 20 FUCKING YEARS OF MY LIFE. I DON'T EVEN HAVE MY DRIVER'S LICENSE BACK AND I TOLD THEM WHEN I FIRST STARTED GOING THERE, THAT WAS ONE OF MY GOALS. so OF COURSE- THEY TAKE ADVANTAGE OF MY LACK OF ADVOCACY.. BECAUSE WHY NOT?! STACY IS STUPID WITH A TBI, SO WE'LL TRY TO MAKE HER DO REHABILITATION HER WHOLE FUCKING LIFE SINCE NO ONE IS ADVOCATING FOR HER! time to get ready for work.